Rudolph

The Buddha didn’t create enlightenment. He discovered it was already within him and is in all of us.  Rudolph didn’t electro-charge his nose on Christmas Eve. It was already shining.

 

By Kellie Schorr

When I grew up, Rankin/Bass stop motion animation specials were the Star Wars franchise for Christmas.

Although Santa Claus is Coming to Town had me singing, and Frosty the Snowman warned me about loser magicians, no show was more beloved, watched or pervasive than their version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

Based on the popular Christmas song, the show told the classic story with animated snow, catchy tunes, and spherical puppets who had jerky motions and a tendency to blurt out everything they were thinking, no matter how off-putting.

Don’t believe me?

 The Reindeer Coach: From now on, gang, we won’t let Rudolph join in any reindeer games. Right? (Great job there, coach.)

Clarice (The reindeer, not the FBI agent):  Is something wrong with your nose? I mean, you talk kind of funny.  (Lesson 1: how not to flirt with boys).

Donner (putting an uncomfortable fake nose on Rudolph) “There’s more to life than comfort! How about SELF RESPECT!” (Gee, thanks Dad).

Rudolph (When King Moonraker asks who he is): Well, we’re a couple of misfits from Christmastown, and now we’d like to live here. (How not to get an apartment).

Sam the Snowman: … Donner felt pretty bad about the way he had treated Rudolph, and he knew that the only thing to do—was to go out and look for his little buck. Mrs. Donner wanted to go along, naturally, but Donner said…

Donner: NO! This is man’s work. (Doe, go make me a sandwich!)

When I watched this in the early 70’s, most of the sexist social norms and casual bullying didn’t really stand out or bother me. Rudolph is a product of its time, and that time was the mid-60’s.

Still, even as a small child, I had the following questions:

  1. Why is Santa such a jerk? Grouchy and rude, he complains about everything, even the elves who are working for him, and seems to sorta of hate Christmas.
  2. Why are they so freaked out about Hermey being a dentist? They clearly have teeth. What’s the big deal? By high school I realized they were using the word “dentist,” but they really meant “gay.” Hermey is gay. Still, what’s the big deal? I mean, gay dentists are just as good as any other.
  3. Why is Donner such a bad dad? He’s the poster-deer for toxic parenting. He practically yells at his kid from the second he is born, makes him put on a fake nose, and his whole attitude with his son is, “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed and totally embarrassed by you.”
  4. What makes everyone so horrible? The reindeer boys are bullies, the coach is a mean, terrifying bigot, Mrs. Claus nags about eating 24/7 and the Head Elf is always screaming at someone. Christmastown is the worst.
  5. Why does Yukon Cornelius keep licking his mining pick? Are there no more hygienic ways to find silver and gold? Ew.
  6. Who made the misfit toys and why? I mean, Rudolph arrived on earth with a red nose that lights up, and Hermey? Well, we all know he was born that way (see: Lady Gaga), but toys are objects. They are specifically made. Why did someone put square wheels on a train? Who named Charlie in the Box? Probably someone from Christmastown cause we all know how awful they are.
  7. Who wants misfit toys for Christmas? Let’s face it—if you’re a normal 7-year-old and you get a water gun that shoots grape jelly there is no. way. in. hell. your mother is going to let you play with that inside. Is there really a kid somewhere saying, “I want a train that doesn’t function properly?” Is some little girl or boy pining for these things?  It’s lovely the misfit toys get to leave the island and be a gift, but I’m willing to bet that kid is going to end up as disappointed and embarrassed as Donner.
  8. WHY IS IT OKAY TO PULL ALL THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN’S TEETH OUT??? Isn’t he going to need them? I mean, I’m glad he’s not eating elves and reindeer anymore but how does he survive? On a life of soup? Or once he’s done putting up decorations he can just wander off and starve? I mean, really—how cruel is this place?

In a hilarious admittance that everything in Rudolph World is not as it should be, Arthur Rankin Jr. of Rankin/Bass was interviewed by the Television Academy Foundation in 2005.  He was asked what was wrong with the dolly on the Island of Misfit Toys. Unlike the train or the boat that didn’t float, there seemed to be nothing wrong with the dolly. So, why was she there? His answer:

“Well, she had psychiatric problems, she was under the care of an analyst.”

Later in 2007 he told NPR that the dolly was “cast off by a mistress and clinically depressed.”  SOOO, yeah. I feel you, Dolly.

Ultimately, even when I was a kid, the message seemed to be that your differences were okay, and you would be embraced and accepted—IF you found a way to be useful. Guide sleighs, pull teeth, hang Christmas tree stars, and you’ll be fine. If you’re not useful, well—you can just go away by yourself, lick a mining pick and dream of better days.

Here we are 60 years from the premiere of Rudolph and many of us are still feeling those challenges from Christmastown.

At a time when we are being told a thousand different ways that our world should be happy and gay (not that kind of gay, but that’s okay too), and our lives should be useful or at least encounter a miracle sometime this season, there is pressure in the air along with the reindeer. What if you’re just not feeling it this year?

When you go to the roots of every major holiday found in the calendar, you will notice they all focus on light.

The Christ narrative involves the birth of a baby at a time when the world was full of darkness.  He brings light, and hope, and will someday be called the “Light of the World.” Hanukkah celebrates the miracle of an oil lamp that stayed lit with just a very small amount of oil for 8 days. Bodhi Day is a time to commemorate the enlightenment of the Buddha.

Midwinter holidays were just made for light, even Rudolph’s nose.

The thing we don’t always seem to remember is that the light of the holidays was already here.

Before the Christ child came into the world, there was the faithfulness of Mary, the willingness of Joseph, the adoration of shepherds (considered an outcast segment of the culture at that time—like elf dentists), and literal stars to guide the way. The lamp of Hanukkah already had a little oil in it when it was lit.

The Buddha didn’t create enlightenment. He discovered it was already within him and is in all of us.  Rudolph didn’t electro-charge his nose on Christmas Eve. It was already shining.

If this holiday, or any other day, finds you struggling with memories, triggers, obligations or just exhaustion, take time to pause and give yourself permission not to be useful.  It’s okay if you can’t be at every event or bake another batch of cookies.

It’s fine to turn off the Christmas carols and take a nap. No one is going to pull your teeth out.

Just feel what you feel and remember that the things that really matter—goodness, peace, and light—don’t have to be manufactured by bright sweaters or holiday shopping. You don’t have to do one darn thing. Relax.

They are already here.

 

Photo: Pixabay

Editor: Dana Gornall

 

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