What do you expect to get out of your practice? People may want to become calmer and more balanced, but for some folks meditating is only one ingredient in the recipe. For example, you become more calm when you learn to look at your stressors objectively, accepting them rather than fighting them. Developing a new relationship with your triggers will eventually pay off.

 

By David Jones

Have you ever watched in distress as your practice starts, stops, restarts, and restops in a mad cycle? Here are some reminders for that.

1. Try not to disparage yourself.

Yes, the cycle is frustrating, but be patient. We should be compassionate toward ourselves, especially when we think we should be doing better than we are. Beating yourself up over unmet goals just adds negative energy to your life.

2. Try not to disparage your practice.

“My practice sucks. It’s inconsistent and unfulfilling. I’m not seeing results. I should be doing better!” Now imagine saying that about your child to their face, or hearing a loved one saying it about you. Face your frustration, disillusionment, and disappointment, but try to do so with a compassionate mind.

3. Get an Expectation Check-up.

What do you expect to get out of your practice? People may want to become calmer and more balanced, but for some folks meditating is only one ingredient in the recipe. For example, you become more calm when you learn to look at your stressors objectively, accepting them rather than fighting them. Developing a new relationship with your triggers will eventually pay off.

4. Reevaluate your process.

I know folks who started Gratitude Journals only to abandon them three months in. Why? It became a burden. Posting a unique blessing every day became a homework assignment. The focus went from appreciation to meeting writing targets. It’s okay to step off pathways which keep resulting in your suffering. Many different roads can reach the same destination. Rather than sticking with methods that keep failing you, find another route that’s more authentic to you.

5. Stop. Just stop.

This recurring pattern of stopping and restarting your practice is a cycle of death and rebirth into suffering. But it’s one you can escape. Don’t be afraid to stop your practice to do some real soul-searching. “Stop” doesn’t always mean “Stop forever,” but it is a wake-up call. Being trapped in this cycle indicates something has to change.

6. Be honest with yourself when you start wondering “Why do I keep forgetting to meditate?” or “Why do I still get angry all the time?”

Really dig into it. What are you experiencing? What are you feeling? Rather than assigning blame, re-evaluate any expectations. Try not to compare your results with someone else’s. And since we all struggle sometimes, no one needs to struggle alone.

Be well.

 

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Photo: Pixabay

Editor: Dana Gornall

 

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