illustration of man walking down a ladder out of his head and a woman looking puzzled at him

We’ve forgotten how to just be in the world. I’m not even talking about my photo addiction: with my phone in my pocket I still need to close my eyes, breathe and center myself, then open my eyes with the goal of “really seeing” instead of “just seeing.” Sometimes you have to reboot your attention.

 

By David Jones

I don’t enjoy vacations.

For one thing I don’t like being away from home (especially my bed) for very long. For another, they stress me out. But as we drive from Kansas City, Missouri to Hendersonville, North Carolina, my wife has been helping me by reducing plans and eliminating time frames as much as possible. I never really knew that was allowed.

Growing up, every road trip was a fuss about getting there and getting back. I’ve read that some Americans measure travel less by how far away something is and more by how long it takes to get there. I’ve done that my whole life and never noticed it until someone said it was funny. Now as I think about it, it is pretty funny.

When your itinerary is marked by hours instead of miles, it’s easy to get lost in clocks and calendars.

It also means you don’t notice your surroundings much because it’s all about making it here by noon and getting to that by five or whatever. The beautiful sights are just needless distractions when you’re trying to maintain speed to make it to that one place in time.

It doesn’t even have to involve exact times. A lot of my family’s weekend trips to Table Rock Lake or Stockton Lake or down to Roaring River State Park were strictly about getting there as quickly as possible to maximize dad’s fishing time. We’d stay on the lake for all of the hours and leave as late as practical, then hold 85 miles per hour to get home “before it got too late.”

I hated road trips. Like our holidays, they were a lot of fuss and hassle. I couldn’t relax because of this constant tension between rushing and boredom. Being an only child, at least I was good at entertaining myself. Famous Monsters and Mad magazines were my traveling essentials.

When I got older, vacations were all, “Get everything into the hotel room but don’t get comfortable because we have five things to go see today before they close.” It seemed every available minute was taken up with activities and sights, and we never had an allotment for rest and relaxation. How I ever made any good memories amidst the hustle and bustle, I’ll never know.

So this vacation started with me worrying the whole time, watching the clock, worrying about staying at the Superman Museum in Metropolis, Illinois too long, or sweating the highway construction slowing us down in Tennessee.

As we sat in McDonald’s my wife took my hands and said “We aren’t in any hurry.” It took repeating it like a mantra before it started sinking in. Maybe I could… relax?

Also, I’m addicted to taking pictures of everything. I need to put the camera phone down and pay more attention. In other words, I need to intentionally become mindful and aware of the world when I’m on vacation.

So now, after I’ve taken 12 photos of the same butterfly like it was Tom Hanks, I put it all away and just watch how the butterfly’s wings move, how it lands on flowers, and then watch a bumblebee carefully working over the same flower. I occasionally notice a stray tendril of cool air within the hot wind hitting my face and arms. Thunderheads build in the distance. I can smell the sweet aromas of plants I’ve never met before.

This is why Mindfulness is a practice of intention and attention. We’ve forgotten how to just be in the world. I’m not even talking about my photo addiction: with my phone in my pocket I still need to close my eyes, breathe and center myself, then open my eyes with the goal of “really seeing” instead of “just seeing.” Sometimes you have to reboot your attention.

I’m reclaiming brain-space that was set aside for schedules and worry.

Vacation needs to be about rest, relaxation, actually enjoying myself instead of rushing everywhere to see this or experience that. The real challenge is within: can I let go of unhelpful mental habits? Can I just open my awareness to everything around me, whether eating at the Bavarian Bierhaus or watching some little fish in a creek?

Spend a few minutes each day—at work, at the grocery store, walking in the neighborhood, sitting in the bathtub, wherever you are—and make yourself stop and notice everything.

Be awake and aware in this moment. Be mindful. Practice awareness and the whole world slows down and opens up to you. Then practice gratitude and appreciation for it. But don’t worry about the dust bunnies hunkered down under the coffee table.

Rats! Ruined the moment, didn’t I? I’ll get the broom.

 

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Photo: Pixabay

Editor: Dana Gornall

 

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