The Mustard Seed and Grief

Although the facets of the journey into profound loss vary, she was told to seek the help of the Buddha to heal her grief, as she wanted to bring back her children. She was told by the Buddha that she should bring to him a mustard seed from a home where no one had suffered the loss of a loved one.

By Michelleanne Bradly

There are many versions of this story. This is the true version.

In the time of the Buddha there was a woman named Kisa Gotami.

Some say that she was from a poor family, some that she was from a rich family. Some say that she married into a wealthy family who did not appreciate her until she bore a son. Still others say that she married for love. One facet of her story is that while she and her husband were traveling to visit her family, they were struck by a series of tragedies.

Her husband was bit by a poisonous snake and died. She had to cross a raging river with her newborn son and her toddler son. She left her toddler son on one side to take across her infant son, but the infant was carried away by a bird of prey as she made her way back to bring her toddler across. She was caught in the river when her toddler son thought that she was waving for him to come to her, and he was washed away in the current.

She made her way to the village of her parents, wracked with grief.

Another facet of her story was that she bore a son who she loved with her whole heart, and when he was less than two years old, he fell ill and died. She could not release her beloved son and went from house to house seeking medicine to bring him back to life.

Although the facets of the journey into profound loss vary, she was told to seek the help of the Buddha to heal her grief, as she wanted to bring back her children. She was told by the Buddha that she should bring to him a mustard seed from a home where no one had suffered the loss of a loved one.

Every home she approached was willing to provide mustard seed, and everyone she encountered had suffered the loss of a loved one. She came to the realization that there the dead outnumbered the living, thus realizing that there was no escaping mortality, and attained the first stage of awakening and became an Arhat.

There is no escaping mortality. Our freedom is found by facing discomfort head on instead of avoiding by distraction. The only way out is through.

I write this story of Kisa Gotami in part, to manage my own grief at the loss of my father. I had started writing about how my relationship with him and the whole of my family had changed through my own practice, which then suddenly turned to practicing with grief and loss.

More to come on all of that as we approach the one-year anniversary of his death.

Photo: Pixabay

Editor: Dana Gornall

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