By Dana Gornall
The dog is at my side nudging my elbow as I eat breakfast while the clock is nudging me toward the shower. I’ll have to get ready for work soon and I felt like I didn’t get enough sleep. I went to bed reasonably enough at 11 pm, but one teenager was out with a friend until midnight and the other was working and then off to visit with his girlfriend until her curfew. So it wasn’t restful sleep—until after they both were home, anyway.
It’s Monday and I have re-filled my coffee cup for the third time although I haven’t seen the bottom of it, yet. It gets to about the half-way or three-quarter way mark and I get back up and top it off again, just so I can feel the hot liquid on my lips, because I just don’t like cold coffee.
It’s Monday and the house is quiet this morning because one teenager is off at work already and the other is still asleep. And this makes me think of all of the mornings when mornings were not quiet, but actually filled with sounds of spoons hitting the bottoms of cereal bowls and fighting for time in the bathroom. It makes me think of mornings in the deep of winter—dark and bitter cold, with all of us scrambling to find boots and coats and gloves and backpacks, and rows of red tail lights as I sat in the line of traffic on the way to school.
It’s Monday and I think that I do not want to go to work.
I wonder what it would be like to go to work and want to go to work and this makes me think of the motivation meme that says something like, find a career that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning. And I wonder what that is like because right now I just want to crawl under the comforter and sleep the day away.
It’s Monday and I am wishing for the weekend to be here. I know this is wrong thinking and we should always be content in the present moment, or maybe we can’t always be content, but at least be aware of the present moment. I know it is not good to be living in the past or wishing for the future. I think back to this past weekend and see images of my son’s 19th birthday celebration and a walk with the dogs with the cool, Spring air in my nose and the sun at my back. I wish I had a rewind button or a fast forward button and I know I need to pull my mind back to the present. Back to Monday.
It’s Monday and I remember that I need to pay the gas bill and look at the paperwork that needs looked at from school.
I remember that I need to sign my daughter up for the ACT test and that I need to check into airfare for that family trip we are planning. I remember that I need to pack a lunch for work and put in some time off for that awards assembly at my daughter’s school. I think I should have gotten up earlier to tackle some of these tasks, which makes me want to go back to bed until Friday.
It’s Monday and I realize that while everything is changing all of the time, and mornings are much quieter, I do still have one teenager sleeping softly in his room and a sweet dog whining at the door. There are birds singing outside which means warmer weather is coming. My phone chime goes off with a text: Have a good day today, honey.
I take a deep breath and sit with the silence for just a minute, finding some gratitude.
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