So clearly I am a typical man. I can’t follow directions. And I’m not the perfect husband.

By Louis De Lauro

21 years ago, the teachers at school held a wedding shower for me and somebody baked a delicious chocolate cake.

A plastic ball and chain was attached to my ankle and I got 30 index cards with suggestions or maybe they were specific directions on how to be the perfect husband.

Make her breakfast.
Bake her cookies.
Get her a puppy.
Bring her flowers.
Give her awesome neck massages.
Learn to play guitar and serenade her with love songs.
Remember she is always in charge.

I can’t remember the other 22, but these eight stuck with me. Do you why they stuck with me? I’m 0 for 8! I’m terrible.

She makes breakfast.
She makes cookies.
We don’t have a puppy, but we do have a funny cat.
I don’t bring her flowers. She made it clear to me, NO flowers.
Neck massages, she’s not interested.
I’m a juggler, not a musician. I throw and catch stuff. This is not cool.
Sometimes she’s in charge, but much of the time she insists that I make the big decisions.

So clearly I am a typical man. I can’t follow directions. And I’m not the perfect husband.

My wife had a very serious surgery last year and I held her hand in post-op. I had tears in my eyes. She woke up. She looked at me funny and then wiped crumbs off of my face. And she whispered, “I love you. Thank you.”

The teachers gave me some funny suggestions on how to be the perfect husband and put a ball and chain on my ankle. Funny stuff.

How is this a teacher story? Well, I’m going to teach you something. Being a perfect husband is an impossible task. I walked into post-op to comfort my wife with crumbs on my face. You can’t be a perfect husband. But here’s what you can do. When things get very difficult—and things will get difficult—hold her hand.

And don’t let go.


Photo: Pixabay

Editor: Dana Gornall



Love Quote Art Print Wedding Gifts Map Artwork Hold My Hand & I’ll Go Anywhere With You 8x10 Art Print


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Louis De Lauro

Louis De Lauro

Featured Writer at The Tattooed Buddha
Louis De Lauro has taught elementary and middle school students for 27 years in NJ and PA. He is also a loving husband, dad, son, and friend. In April of 2017, his short story about his wife and daughter “Right from the Start” was published in “Chicken Soup for the Soul, Best Mom Ever.” Back in 2007, Louis was featured in the award-winning documentary “Juggling Life” about the charity he founded, Juggling Life Inc. The charity recruits and trains volunteers to teach juggling and chess at camps for children with cancer. In 2008, he was featured in a Star Ledger Series called “I Am New Jersey.” In 2011, Louis had four submissions published in the Pearson textbook, “Child and Adolescent Development” by Woolfolk and Perry. Louis enjoys writing about teaching, family, friendship, and Buddhism.
Louis De Lauro

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