By Debbie Lynn
Oh that feeling—that lusty, wild, bat-shit crazy feeling.
Is it love…or not?
With all its veracity, emotional love envelopes our being (mind/body and soul). It is a rush of newness, excitement and confusion but how do we discern if it is true, real and lasting, especially if we are not completely clear about our past and what we may have left behind.
It is hard to say but often, it goes like this:
We drop all our sensibility, our dignity and virtual reality when we are in this state of bliss. We run blindly into the day, forget the simplest of tasks and any form of concentration we have; it seems to be nothing but a lost art. People talk to us (eye to eye) yet we can’t hear a word they are saying. Deafened by an emotional wasteland we ask, “Are we in love?”
It’s been said if we love someone, they should be an extension of our soul, our persona and our being—not by completing us, but by complementing who we are. And being in a solid state-of–mind (when love finds us) makes love different than the chaos of an intense short-lived passion.
Most of us however, are not quite solidified.
Too often we begin a relationship when we are not balanced and we are simply filling a void. Then we unconsciously take on or imitate what we are enamored with, and this is a problem. It is a problem in that we lose sight of our very essence and try to match up (or be one) with the object of our affection, which is just impossible. If our body, our gestures and our mind are not harmony with discernment, we unnaturally mutate and we become awkward and confused.
“Love gives itself, is neither begged nor borrowed; rather, love becomes the greater aspect of who we are.” ~ Longfellow.
We ask over and over, “Is this it? Are they the one? Is it real? Is it God?” And we feed ourselves all kinds of nourishing thoughts about our bliss yet we hardly remember one basic rule of our universe—everything is transient.
Nothing lasts forever but in our elation we simply don’t care to remember. It is this non-caring, carefree, skipping through tulips attitude that always gets us in trouble. We convince our delusional mind that the feeling is so deep it is not a question of, “Are we are in love?” but how emerged in it are we really? And then before we know it, this sacred and overwhelmingly beautiful feeling is gone.
It flees; it slips right though our fingers like water because we try to hold on to something that is pure energy… but we can’t. That energy undulates, wanes, changes and dies.
Hello? This is life, and this blissed out love energy is no different than that.
But we never ask where does love go even when it on its way up? We ask, where it has gone when it has peaked. We have that orgasmic revelation of “been there done that” and we question, “Why did it leave us?” We blame it on the moon and the stars, or he said/she said, because as quickly as it shows up, emotional love dissolves.
I repeat—this is life.
So if we can snap out of lulu-land for a minute and peel back some layers we can (in the long run) make sense out of a senseless situation. But when we are tangled in our romantic fantasies of perfection and everlasting love, we decline the obvious, which is: it is all a reflection of hopes and dreams—i.e. the fairy tale.
We have these expectations of our partner, their habits, and their intentions that are really our own interpretations and we end up sabotaging a beautiful thing simply by default. We don’t mean to, but we all do it. And none of us are mind readers so expecting others to read our mind is so damn arrogant. Let’s let that one go now.
To keep love alive, vibrant and clean we have to let it breathe. We have to step out of expectations and accept love in its natural form. Never trying to change the other soul, but to extend the vibration of that amazing energy when two meld.
We don’t need to name it, change it or manipulate it. Love is so simple. There is no use in explaining what we feel—there are no words. It doesn’t compete, deny or strangle our mind with complications. It flows. And it certainly doesn’t hang on the past.
Is it easy? Yes, love is easy. We humans however, are not. But for the most part when we have met our match there is a synchronicity of effortless togetherness, unity, and peace. And the butterflies that danced in our stomach? They now reside on our shoulder.
Remember, if it is too good to be true, it is false. If we think we are in love, check into the heart. Look to see if our multi-faceted emotions are stable or reeling out of control. A lesser so-called love looks like infatuation (where we are distracted, sometimes stupid and giddy) this is a fact. But when true love is in us and with us, the highs are still high; the lows are low yet we are not out-of-our-mind. We are mindful and have acute awareness to all.
We can’t fill a gap that is already full so if our cup is running over, we have too much in our cup. Too messy, too crazy, too many emotions interfering and complicating what isn’t complicated.
When we are centered, balanced and whole, love is able to enter with sensibility and it is a game changer. The energy is a higher more advanced of state of our self, not tied up and twisted. The bottom line: It just isn’t wise or fair (to anyone) to begin a relationship when we are still trying to resolve the past. We end up with more pain than love.
Gather your faculties, hands to the heart center and remember love is: easy, strong, complete.
Anything less or more that is radioactive is probably not a good omen.
- A Day in the Life of a Moment (Because Nothing Lasts Forever) - February 22, 2019
- Zen Persona Shattered: Picking Up the Pieces When You Lose Your Sh*t - January 30, 2019
- Appreciating Peace in a Violent World - September 27, 2018