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My comfort isn’t worth more than yours or theirs, nor is it worth less. But these Americans are still forced to feel like lesser beings. That’s not what America was supposed to stand for. Heck we’re going to have a huge shindig to celebrate this nation’s freedom from oppression in July.

 

By David Jones

June is Pride Month, and there will be a parade.

Why do they do a parade? Because they can finally celebrate their freedom openly without worrying about getting arrested or assaulted (mostly). And yet for every person marching in a Pride parade there are many more who’ll stay home out of fear.

But these folks are just like anyone else in America: they want to celebrate their victories and freedoms openly, and that just might include a parade. Ask any Kansas City Chiefs fan. We’ll shut a city down to celebrate!

Some folks feel uncomfortable seeing members of the LGBTQ+ community being so open. But remember when a bunch of folks wanted to normalize guns in public by openly carrying weapons into fast food restaurants? Casual open visibility is a very American strategy for normalizing something. Just ask Second Amendment supporters.

Many of us get uncomfortable dealing with anyone’s sexual identity or gender in public even if it matches our own.

America has sexual taboos galore, which even extend to things like public breastfeeding. I’ve needed a bathroom break when I was out, so why would I demand any Transgendered person hold it ‘til they got home? When I hear folks yelling about Transgender bathroom rights, I do hear some hate, but I also hear a lot of uninformed or misinformed insecurity and discomfort. We can work with that.

So in June and beyond, I invite everyone to join me in remembering that the people in the LGBTQ+ community are exactly that: people. I have two kids within that community, and I love them dearly and support them just like the others because they’re all my kids. I think most parents understand the need to love and support our kids. I also support my many friends within the community as an ally. They’re all just folks like anyone else and deserve to be treated right.

One day at work a guy asked me out. I patiently told him, “No,” but I said I was flattered. Why would I say it like that? Because I remember back when I wanted to go out with a girl I worked with, and when I asked her out she laughed so much she fell into the ice bin in our drive-thru. I know how it feels to be rudely dismissed. I don’t ever want to make another person feel that way. It takes guts for some of us to approach someone we like. I never want to punish anyone for finally getting up that courage. Anyone.

In general, America has been inept at teaching kids or even adults how to handle their emotions—particularly discomfort. We teach people, “avoid or lash out at anyone who makes you uncomfortable for any reason” rather than seeing each as a growth opportunity, a chance to gain wisdom and insight about each other.

LGBTQ+ individuals need what any individual needs. Most don’t want to make a big spectacle of their sexual or gender identity any more than you or I would. Have you ever been forced to live in the shadows since childhood? Ever had to pretend to be something you weren’t for appearances? Have you ever been dismissed for trying to be who you really are?

I’m a straight white man and even I’ve been told to conform more. Imagine being kept down for daring to be authentically yourself. Have you ever felt like you didn’t belong, that maybe no one really cared about your feelings, or wished the government or society would recognize your concerns as valid? Ever just wanted to be seen and heard? I have.

I’d hate to minimize others so I could be comfortable.

My comfort isn’t worth more than yours or theirs, nor is it worth less. But these Americans are still forced to feel like lesser beings. That’s not what America was supposed to stand for. Heck we’re going to have a huge shindig to celebrate this nation’s freedom from oppression in July.

So remember: life, liberty, and our pursuit of happiness are the rights of all of us, not just those we’re comfortable with. People fought and died for that.

Then as we celebrate this 4th of July, as we eat potato salad and watch our children’s eyes get big with the colors exploding across the sky, we celebrate our nation’s victory for freedom. Join me in remembering we’re all just humans, even those we see as different from us. Those in the LGBTQ+ community aren’t looking to be treated better than anyone else, but to be treated like everyone else.

Like the rest of us, they work hard to pay their bills, to raise their kids safely, and to want lives free from fears of being shot or raped or abused or bullied. They want to be happy and healthy. And they also wish gas and groceries and rent didn’t cost both kidneys. We all suffer in some way, and we can all do our part to be allies for each other, to help each other suffer a little less.

Let’s make humanity great again. Be well.

 

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Photo: Pixabay

Editor: Dana Gornall

 

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