I heard an analogy once about a rock tumbler. A lot of different rocks get dumped into the tumbler and it makes the rocks smack into each other over and over. It doesn’t necessarily ruin the rocks, even though in a way there’s violence and damage involved. After all the banging and colliding the rocks emerge polished and not so full of sharp edges.

 

By David Jones

I used to think diversity had to do with things like skin color, nationality, gender, sexual particulars, or categorized disability.

I work for the government, so my view was shaped by their view. Now I wonder.

A friend of mine once offered that there’s a difference between diversity and variety. I think variety allows us to check off boxes on our “We Need To Be Diverse” checklist. But real diversity is much more radical than that.

Diversity is “dangerous” simply because its goal is to change the group, not merely provide examples of difference for public viewing. Mindfully adding diversity to a group demands that we all change a little somehow, and for spiritual communities that comes from challenging inherent views and behaviors of that group.

If someone joins our group and they don’t make us feel at all uncomfortable, how can we benefit from their differences?

Now when I say we should feel uncomfortable, I’m not talking about how we usually think of discomfort.

While growing up in rural Missouri in the early ’70s, folks would often avoid a person who was missing a limb, had an eyepatch, or had a different skin color or used a wheelchair. That’s not constructive discomfort.

No, I’m not talking about that self-conscious awkwardness we display due to living in a bubble of unchallenged views or beliefs, staying there because other perspectives make us uncomfortable. Diversity shows its value when it disturbs the water, so that we’re moved to learn from others, to accept their experiences and ways of seeing things as valid and valuable. That’s the point of constructive discomfort.

I know it’s not easy or even desirable to embrace diversity in some groups or communities.

A homogenous environment is a safe environment. Difference can be seen as a danger, particularly if we were raised in an environment that only told scary stories about The Others. When you’re afraid of the differences of others, it’s probably because you grew up developing that fear.

If we insist on only one view or understanding as valid, we’re proving we aren’t interested in personal growth, only in personal comfort. We don’t need to change our views or understanding to match everyone else’s. We don’t have to agree or even like another person’s interpretation of a thing.

Diversity shows its value when it disturbs the water, so that we're moved to learn from others, to accept their experiences and ways of seeing things as valid and valuable. That's the point of constructive discomfort. ~ David Jones Share on X

But being exposed to real diversity doesn’t infect or corrupt us in some way, it opens us and permits growth. We stop trying to fight against diverse people and views as we have more positive experiences with their differences.

I heard an analogy once about a rock tumbler. A lot of different rocks get dumped into the tumbler and it makes the rocks smack into each other over and over. It doesn’t necessarily ruin the rocks, even though in a way there’s violence and damage involved. After all the banging and colliding the rocks emerge polished and not so full of sharp edges.

Diversity might cause discomfort and maybe even arguments, but the benefits to all can make up for that.

Again the goal isn’t to keep us comfortable and unchallenged but to give our rough edges someone else’s rough edges to bonk into so we all emerge smoother.

Diversity isn’t always easy or comfortable, which is partly why it’s so valuable. “Easy” and “comfortable” can lead to stagnation and complacency. Mindfulness includes watching out for such issues within ourselves, rejecting things that isolate ourselves from difference. Diverse views, backgrounds and experiences help us find new avenues for feeling and showing compassion.

There will be times, of course, when diverse ideas and views cross a line for us. There’s a difference between views we dislike and views which violate our boundaries. If we encounter some deal-breakers, we might need to agree to disagree. Or if it’s really egregious, we might need to stop engaging that person or group.

Diversity should build up, not tear down.

In the end, embracing someone because of their differences (and not in spite of them) can broaden our horizons, lead us to growth and compassion, and encourage community. In time, things that used to provoke our anger will be more easily managed. There will always be trolls who just want us to be angry, so we’ll try to avoid their unconstructive discomfort.

The more personal peace we develop with the differences of others, the more peace we provide to our community, and ultimately to everyone.

 

Photo: Pixabay

 

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