If I am complaining about something or feeling burdened by something, my autopilot response is to just get through it, feeling put upon and a bit powerless. Could I get still and bring curiosity to my feeling of complaint, burden and powerlessness?

 

By Leo Babauta

Much of our lives are lived on autopilot.

We jump from one task to another, one message to another, one meeting to another, one browser tab to another. We react in habitual ways to other people, to situations. We justify this as the way it should be.

Nothing wrong with that—but what would it be like to explore other possibilities? What would it be like to pause and find stillness in a moment when we would normally be on autopilot?

Here’s what I’ve been exploring:

For every obstacle that we normally think of as a problem to be fixed, every “flaw” in ourselves or others that we judge as something to be fixed, what if we can pause, find stillness and get curious instead of trying to fix?

For example:

Someone is acting in a way that feels rude or wrong. Perhaps my autopilot response is to judge them, complain about them internally or externally, and either try to fix the problem or avoid the person. But I’ve been exploring getting still, and bringing curiosity to my reaction. What does it feel like? Why do I get triggered in this way?

Then curiosity to the other person: how might what they’re doing make sense to them?

If I’ve been procrastinating on something, my autopilot response might be to judge myself and feel inadequate, or maybe to avoid even thinking about it. What if I get still and bring curiosity to how it feels to procrastinate on this, and what fear might be leading to the procrastination? Could I bring curiosity to why this task is even important to me?

If I am complaining about something or feeling burdened by something, my autopilot response is to just get through it, feeling put upon and a bit powerless. Could I get still and bring curiosity to my feeling of complaint, burden and powerlessness?

Could there be anything to explore in what I really want in this situation, and why I’m avoiding speaking up for that?
In this way, every difficulty becomes a place to explore with curiosity, and there is growth and learning and delight to be found in everything.

This process, for me, starts with stillness. And then deepens with curiosity.

What might it be like for you?

 

 

Leo Babauta is a regular guy, a father of six kids, a husband, a writer from Guam (now living in San Francisco). He eats vegan food, writes, runs, and reads. He is the founder of Zen Habits which is about finding simplicity and mindfulness in the daily chaos of our lives. It’s about clearing the clutter so we can focus on what’s important, create something amazing, find happiness.
 

 

Photo: Pixabay

 

This article was originally published on Zen Habits and re-published with author’s permission.

 

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