I am Not Buddhist

I am terrible at being a Buddhist.I keep a paper in my wallet that lists The Eightfold Path to enlightenment because I have trouble remembering all eight things to practice. Sometimes I can’t remember the entire list, and then I look in my wallet and I can’t find that little paper. Like I said, I am a terrible Buddhist.

 

By Louis De Lauro

 

I want to help you, but I am not a Buddhist.

I am a fraud; I was brought up Catholic in New Jersey. I know all of the Bible stories and I know the Lord’s Prayer. I celebrate Christmas and I really like Christmas. I celebrate Easter too, without really meaning to celebrate it. What do I mean? Well, I eat a lot of jelly beans this time of year—way too many jelly beans (I like Peeps too). And I know the Easter story better than I know any stories about Buddha.

I don’t meditate often. Maybe for one week, I will meditate every day, but it becomes a chore. Then the next week, I will skip six or maybe seven days.

I am terrible at being a Buddhist.

I keep a paper in my wallet that lists The Eightfold Path to enlightenment because I have trouble remembering all eight things to practice. Sometimes I can’t remember the entire list, and then I look in my wallet and I can’t find that little paper. Like I said, I am a terrible Buddhist.

Okay, I found the paper. The Eightfold Path consists of eight practices:

Right view

Right resolve

Right speech

Right conduct

Right livelihood

Right effort

Right mindfulness

Right samadhi

Hmm, what’s samadhi? Let me think for a second; I have trouble concentrating. Hmm? That’s right, samadhi is right concentration.

So on most days I feel like a fraud. I am not a real Buddhist, I think. But then I catch myself embracing the day, staring at the clouds—fluffy white clouds or dark scary clouds, it doesn’t matter—and appreciating the moment. Or I catch myself shutting my mouth and listening to a friend speak—really listening. Focused on her words or his pain.

I am present.

And I maybe I am the one person in the room who says something kind. Like, I might say, “I am here for you,” or “I know what you mean,” or “I want to help you.”

And the truth is I really do want to help.

So today, I worked hard. Today I maintained my cool. Today, I meditated. It was the first time I meditated all week, but I meditated today.  And damn it, I will meditate tomorrow, unless I forget. If I forget I will meditate the next day or the day after that.

And today, I suffered, I felt pain and I accepted every bit of the suffering and pain as part of my life experience. That’s a Buddhist thing to do.

And today, I wrote this article for The Tattooed Buddha. Maybe today, I am a Buddhist.

Just for a few minutes, let me pretend I am a Buddhist!

Maybe tomorrow, I will be a Catholic again. That’s not such a bad thing. Catholics, other Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews, and Atheists can all be great people. I know so many great people who are not Buddhists.

Or maybe tomorrow, I will give up on the idea that I will ever be a Buddhist, and I will just accept that I am just a kind man trying his best to practice Buddhism. And Buddhism might just be impossible to practice.

Finally, maybe being kind is more important than being Buddhist.

And I am kind. And so are you.

I hope this article helps you.


 

Photo: (source)

Editor: Dana Gornall

 

Did you like this post? You might also like:

 

What’s Gained in Loss

Loss seldom happens all at once. It’s a movement, an emptying that takes something away bit by bit until there’s nothing left to take apart but the memory. Like a cup made of ice melting into itself. The whole world, the entire cosmos… statues of melting ice. 

Want to Save the World? Start with Paying Attention (A Primer in Samatha)

  By John Lee Pendall The news seems to scream one thing: everything's out of control, and we're all going to die. That second part is most definitely the case. If we believe in birth, then we experience death; if we believe in gain, then...

The Right Words

I am thankful a three-year-old girl had the right words to bring my wife to tears. Happy tears. 

Demure & Mindful: A Buddhist’s Take

  By Johnathon Lee “Very demure, very mindful.” ~ Jools Lebron  Are we being mindful if we’re trying to seem demure? "Demure" hasn’t been this popular since the year 1850. Why is it trending now? It means, “Reserved, modest and shy.” The TikTokker Jools Lebron,...

Comments

comments