Abandonia. {Poetry}

By Andre Boissier

So long now
I have been missing
Which is not the same as gone or absent
On a journey not of my choosing
To the furthest place one can go:
Abandonia
A place of exile where we are
Prisoner, police and on parole

The banishment of self
Does it happen suddenly or slowly
I don’t know. I do know
It is easy to cross the point of
No return

Like sailing off the edge of the earth
Before men knew the world was round
A free fall into the waiting mouths
Of Lestrygonians
And karma comes full circle fast
I believe is what Galileo meant

What I mean is
how long you gonna do this to yourself?

Let’s talk about the history of fear
Of standing naked and being asked by Mom
to choose the belt that meets the flesh,
The tip snapping around the hip to sting
A shrinking penis like a snake bite then recoiling
As if nothing happened.
And then again.
At some point the anticipation of trouble
Becomes the expectation of punishment
And that is how we learn to live
In fear

We carry it into our adult lives
And hope our first and second wives will heal the cut
Instead they peel back the still fresh scar
And pour vinegar
While asking did you pay the rent?
Our mistake is seeking their counsel to begin with
They have other talents, but making us whole again
Is not one of them

My best friend mentioned we are all fucked up
I had never thought about that, I thought
The goal was to be as close to perfect
But if we are all fucked up, that is
About as perfect as it gets.

But he is right, my best friend:
We are all misfits of the same tribe
Making much noise, but really
Just looking for quiet forgiveness,
From ourselves, from each other.

It is so simple, so easy to miss.

So come now,
Return to your life with honor
Abandonia is a ghost town
You can leave behind.
Deputize yourself
And take your place at the table
You do not need to fit in
You belong.