What if We Gave Up Trying to Decide Who We Will Be?

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By Sophie Gregoire

Life, you are such a mischievous fairy.

You are the loveliest open question—a series of never-ending confrontations to the new. That’s why we love you that much.

We love your strangeness, that endless oddness you offer everyday to the ones that keep their eyes opened. The pulse of the unknown cities where we’ll always feel different, the faraway decodings of your other versions, the weirdest expectations of the craziest ones, those sparkling moments that are worth waiting for a thousand years.

Your perfect and unbelievable synchronicities, all of your winds and thunderstorms and rains and scorching suns that make us feel that alive.

You’re untamable, unpredictable and forever amazing. Your most striking, powerful and intense messages are like little voice interrogations—the ones that you blow from the secret parts of ourselves. Formerly veiled words, you suddenly decide to whispeŕ or to scream. Sometimes, you shout at us from our guts, yelling mystical letters, that we don’t understand properly at first but that we progressively translate to hear your (our) music.

Because you only do that when you know we are ready to hear.

You make us try—you make us struggle—to find answers and solutions to all those questions which you put in front of our eyes. To find solutions, would be a success. Not knowing what to do, would be failing. I’m sure you must be smiling at us all, seing how intensely we sometimes fight to find the keys to ourselves.

However your magic doesn’t work that easily. You are a fairy, aren’t you?

Most of the time, answers are undiscernable at that specific freezing moment when they are that needed, when the question is pricking our hearts that intensely, when we would kill to see the puzzle of ourselves solved somewhere.

Most of the time, your answers come with time. By moving forward, step by step, and collecting all those clues you give. By making life happen, everyday. By blending intuitions from today and from the past.

So, we won’t struggle for planning and forecasting who we’ll be. Because we don’t know. Because, dear fairy, you still, now and forever, holds those little signs that you put in our way.

Maybe you have treasured, somewhere in the secret box of destinies, what we are meant to be. What could be that gift we are trying to unearth and dig up from ourselves with all the strength of our arms—as soldiers.

But what I feel is.

We are still walking on the way to our dreams, on the road to ourselves. Still losing layers of skin and beliefs from what we had been taught, from what is molded into us and expected. Still trying to paint days with hand made flowers, still creating that rousing anthem of our own.

As we are still walking on our way to mysteries, we are still getting closer to these gems we have never seen. Still exploring life’s fantasy forest, still trying to read your signs in the sky

As the enigma is still left unsolved, and will probably never be, what if we gave up on trying to decide, now, who we will be?

 

Sophie Gregoire is a thinker. You may often find her with a new idea or a new concept to explain, holding a notebook and pencil. Also found reading and writing, she is more than anything, an independent soul. She enjoys traveling and getting lost in new places, namely in Asia. She says it helps understanding our worlds, its people and the humankind. She loves writing to transform her endless thoughts into some kind of reality, and to keep the little piece of sanity she still has! She savors coffee, encounters, Yoga and meditation, and cats… while her own cat is her greatest muse!

 

Photo: Fantasywire/Robin Wight

Editor: Dana Gornall[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

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