By Sonia Shrestha
“Nothing remains constant, but change.” I have heard this phrase often and yes, I believe it.
Changes never leave us; they help us grow. My experiences have bothered me, pained me, brought tears to my eyes, but they have taught me valuable lessons I will remember for my entire life. These experiences have helped me grow into the person who I am today.
Changes do not happen overnight, of course.
They take time, and time—as we know—is the greatest teacher. This teacher may be harsh and strict, even unforgiving sometimes, but that is only for our betterment. When I underwent those experiences, I was terrified beyond my wits. I wanted to run far, far away where I would never have to face those terrible moments again.
Months later, I have mixed emotions regarding them. Yes, I have learned a lot. Yes, I am cautious and more careful. Yes, I care. Yet I am still scared. The slightest of things still terrify me. Many have told me to be brave, to be strong, but one friend told me it was okay to be scared, after all, we are only humans, not superheroes.
Today, I am not shy to say that I get terrified.
Many people send chills down my spine. I get scared. I get nervous sensations in my tummy and yet I go on. I carry on with my life with a big smile on my face, pretending to be happy, to be brave. My face has a mask glued permanently to it.
The words and feelings escape only when they become too heavy for me to hold.
The occasional rush of terror and the longing to talk to someone helps to get the words out. And if that doesn’t work a hug helps me relax.
If it were not for the alterations, none of us would be where we are now.
I am thankful for the changes that have helped shape my life and made it what it is today.
We have all matured a little in the process of changing—I know I have—I hope so.
Thanks to these amendments, I have realized how important it is to think about myself before thinking about what others would say. I have learned that it should always be about how I feel about myself rather than what others feel about me.
At the end of the day, no one but I will be my best friend.
I shall have to fend for myself, handle it all by myself—all the changes in my life are my own. I and nobody else, will be interested; all they will have are a few words of sympathy—sympathy that will fade with time. I do not need sympathy. Empty words mean nothing to me; I am my own savior walking with a few who will help me only until a certain point, after which, I will be left to gather courage for myself.
The world will want you and me to change to suit their needs; they will want to mold us in the shape that best suits them. They may advise us but they can never dictate us.
It is time to say no. We can handle our own sh*t.
We must view changes in a positive light. I agree, the process of transformation may or may not look promising but every change—good or bad—has a way of teaching us. We may learn lessons that will last a lifetime. Changes help us mature as no other thing can.
Change, as a term, is vague. It is unclear. As a friend described it—it is as a dense fog spreads in front of the eyes, making the picture blur—however, it is in this vagueness that learning lies.
I am trying to embrace all the modifications gracefully, with open arms, welcoming all the teachings and maturation process.
I am trying not to flinch with pain during difficult times, rather I am reasoning out the positives it might be hiding. Adapting to changes, without bowing down to negativity or molding ourselves for others might be difficult and challenging, but that is where the fruit lies.
We are our painters painting our portraits; we are the sculptor carving the shape that fits the best.
We are like the wild animals that nobody can tame, running wild, learning to decide for ourselves, choosing the best path. We are the seekers, on a wild chase that is never-ending.
Never let the changes bring you down; after all, only after a hurricane, a rainbow appears.
Sonia Shrestha is a literature student who is on a journey to know herself, passionate about reading and writing. A quote-aholic (totally addicted to quotes), she loves to find her own meanings in words and loves deep and meaningful conversations. A good book and comfortable surrounding is all she needs.
Photo: David DeHetre/Flickr
Editor: Sherrin Fitzer