By Lisa Meade
There are those who are the victims and those who are the saboteurs. But what if we are both. We can be our very own saboteur. We may be practicing certain behaviors that are setting ourselves up for failure or keeping us small, locked in and shut down.
We all have great potential in life and most of this potential involves change. But for many, change is the very thing that makes them cringe, though they may be quite unhappy and dissatisfied with the life they are living and the relationships in it. Yet the minute they explore the possibilities that are within change, they begin to find the need to run, hide, justify or blame.
It is natural for us to want to escape pain or fear, to experience a new way of being, to take a risk, to step into the unknown can be very unsettling. For some, so much so, that they unconsciously will shield themselves from it.
They will create scenarios that will prevent them from having to be a part of the change.
A part of our defense mechanism that often triggers our saboteur to step into action are fear, anxiety, frustration, lack of motivation, anger or dismissive behavior. These feelings can often be the perfect trigger to pull us away from potential change, to keep us from exploring possibilities or to prevent us from facing what is the next step in our evolution. Part of us longs to remain in the safe zone—the familiar places and the expected outcomes—even when we know that they will not satisfy us or bring us happiness.
Playing it safe can prevent us from moving onward into the life that is designed for us. It can keep us small. It can keep us silent. It can prevent us from taking a part in the wonders and miracles that await us.
The unfamiliar is often filled with many gifts and lessons and we prevent ourselves from experiencing them and embracing them because it will mean taking an unfamiliar step, doing something new or acting differently than we usually do. We allow the fear and anxiety to block us in.
We create our own prison.
Change is part of life. We can only escape it for so long because nothing is permanent, so everything—including your fear or failure—will be only temporary. It is the same with your success. That is why we are created to be continuously evolving, learning and growing.
The more and more we worry about tomorrow or create a story about what could happen, the more we run the risk of sabotaging our self. We need to instead build upon all possibilities, not just the ones we fear the most.
And in doing so we begin to see the places in which we can take action and move forward.
We cannot force things to happen or not happen, there is a much bigger energy beyond us that plays into the outcome of our lives. But we can be present and open. We can stop expending our energies into making something not happen and instead put it into making things shift and become alive.
It takes practice, it takes courage, and it takes patience and flexibility.
In the end we become our biggest contributor and supporter of the life intended for us instead of our saboteur.
Editor: Dana Gornall