By Lee Glazier
The following, uh, column or article thing, is me talking to myself. No, I’m not mentally ill—I’m a writer.
Broken Buddhist: There’s just darkness everywhere. So much pain. Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in an ancient sea of sorrow. I’m fixated on how everything seems to decay, how all the color slowly drains out of life until—
Lee: Whoa, whoa, whoa, just take it easy, man. Chill your rockets, stable your ponies. Have you ever, ya know, uh, considered that maybe you’re the problem, man? Not you, but your tendency to cling to shit. Because there’s passing sadness, Dude, and then there’s wallowing in sadness. When we wallow, we uh, fuck up the flow of the mind, or whatever.
BB: How do I know if I’m wallowing or not?
L: Well, if you’re in a mood long enough to, ya know, create a worldview out of it, then that means you’re probably wallowing, Dude. Have you ever tried just abiding whatever comes your way and then letting it go on its way when it’s ready to take off?
BB: I think you’re right, I was wallowing. When I focused on my present actions on the walk home today, I noticed that the sadness started to lift. But then I just grabbed onto it again. Why would I want to wallow in misery?
L: It’s not the misery in itself, I don’t think. It’s just that wallowing is kinda what we do, Broseph. It’s what people do, and not just people—I’ve seen my cat wallows from time to time, and she’s usually pretty cool. And when you wallow in something often enough, it kinda becomes part of who you think you are. It gets familiar, man. I mean, who are we without wallowing?
Who are we if we just go with the flow of our own hearts, minds and the world? What do we believe? What do we want? Nothin’ but question marks, Dude, and the brain hates question marks. Have you ever noticed that they kinda look like scythes? Unanswered questions are dangerous to a brain that’s hardwired for survival at all costs, ya dig? But question marks also kinda look like shepherds’ staffs, and I think the point of any spiritual path—no matter what it is—is to be good shepherds to ourselves. Letting our questions go unanswered helps with that.
BB: You’re pretty cool, Lee. I knew I invented you for a reason.
L: Well thanks, man. I’m just the side of you that wants to chill the fuck out and laze through life. I think everyone has a side like that. You’re just weird enough to give it a name and writing style, Dude.
BB: Sometimes I think that the path I put you on is “better” than the one I’m on. But, well, your path is also kind of boring. A one-trick pony. Not to be rude or anything.
L: Hey, it’s alright, Dude. If you want to insult yourself, then go ahead, it’s your rodeo.
BB: What would my life be like if I just forgot it all and lived by your philosophy?
L: Uhh, whoa, you put me on the spot here. It would just be… life, ya know? Regular life without all the dramatic highs and lows that you’re used to. Yeah, dramatic shit would still happen—because that’s life too—but your, uh, reactions would be a lot more, ya know, uh, subdued? No, subDude, ha-ha. Like a hand that’s always open. You’d just be an average person, another face in the crowd, doing your own thing. Is that what scares you?
BB: Kind of. I always wanted to be someone. Ever since I was a kid. I wanted to be seen and heard, and I wanted to make a difference.
L: Why do you think you want that?
BB: Probably because I didn’t feel seen or heard. L: Because you felt like you didn’t matter?
L: Well, I can tell ya this, Dude. Whether you’re seen and heard or not, whether you make a difference or not, that don’t matter to Venus and Mars. You’ve heard Dust in the Wind before, man. That’s actually a positive song, even though it sounds sad. Life’s like an inkblot. Well, not life, but how we feel about it. Your, “Everything’s darkness and decay,” thing from earlier isn’t wrong, Dude. Not at all. But there’s more than one way to feel about it. It’s like, the same door that shuts us in sets us free when it opens up. All you’ve got to do is leave your door open to whatever happens in life, man. Let it all in, and then let it all go. That’s abiding, Dude. Life’s hard, so take it easy.
BB: One more question.
L: Hey, ask away, man. I’m here as long as you are.
BB: It’s always been about sharing for me. I love sharing everything, especially mind-blowing shit.
L: Fuck yeah, Dudeski.
BB: If I take your advice and, “Let it all in, and then let it all go,” what do I have left to share?
L: That’s the heart of sharing, man. And, ya know, it’s not your job to blow people’s minds. If their minds are open, then they’ll get blown no matter what. If you blow someone’s mind it’s just because you happen to be there at the right time. If you weren’t, then their mind would’ve been blown by something else, like a really cool rock or something. So setting out to, ya know, blow people’s minds isn’t the best use of your time, BB. If you focus on being open to everyday profundity, then that openness is going to rub off on the people you meet.
That’s what ya share, Dude. Not insights, not deep shit. Just yourself, man, whoever the fuck that is.
“Dude” Lee Glazier is a Dudeist Priest, Zen adherent and Taoist enthusiast from Golden, Colorado. He likes reading, writing, hiking, taking baths, listening to classic rock, drinking White Russians, smoking, and having the occasional acid flashback. The only thing he truly believes is that everyone needs to slow down, mellow out, and unwad their underpants. He feels that that would solve all the world’s problems in a heartbeat. “Do you have the patience to let the mud settle and the water clear?”
Editor: Dana Gornall
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