By Lisa Meade
There are times when my whole being aches for it.
There are days where there seems to be little to no room for a few moments of its existence. Yet, my hunger rises within me and claws at me like a caged animal. My need for it always will outweigh the world’s denial of it. Solitude and silence are as important and necessary for my being as food or sleep.
Everyone I know these days has very full lives. Each day is filled with to do lists and responsibilities. Some days hold celebrations, some sadness, while some days hold both. We often stumble through that paradox. But stillness appears to be for the sleeping body on these types of days.
I find there is a deep overwhelming need within me to find the precious time to be still and alone with my soul, to quiet my thoughts and just be.
It is in this alone time, in this Me time where the silence is often the loudest. It rings clear through my being like a giant gong of energy that sweeps away the clutter that I have accumulated. It rinses clean the smudges of hurt, anger and frustration. It satisfies deep yearnings and makes space for every possibility.
There was a time when I placed great value in all that I could accomplish.
I held pride in my projects, my duties and my lists. My level of satisfaction was truly overrated. It paled in comparison to the lack of grounding that I so desperately longed for, or for the balance I so sorely needed. It took over a half of a century to realize that my center could not be found in chaos or in doing. But, instead, it waited quietly for me in the pause between each breath.
I also learned that one of the reasons I ignored this essential need for pause was because often in the silence, my inner voice would begin to speak the truth to me; my Truth. And once that happens it is very, very difficult to deny what you have heard and what you now know.
My forgotten dreams would surface, my hapless choices were aired, my soul’s needs were highlighted. How could I ever fit all that in? It would leave a bad taste in my mouth when I would come up with excuses to ignore or deny these truths. I discovered the only way I could truly stomach what life wanted of me and what I wanted of life was to go to my center again and again, to seek my truth and to listen in the silence.
Perhaps it is an acquired taste. I don’t want to infer that everyone’s center is found in the same place that I have found mine.
But having been fed the manna for my soul, I no longer feel the need to look elsewhere. It has proven to be a reliable source for my sustenance. And so I make it a point each and everyday—religiously, practically and sacredly—to bring myself to a place of silence and solitude. Here I allow my body, mind and soul to lap at the sweet nectar that fuels my inner being and supports my truest self to step into wondrous expanse each day holds.
It is here, with the ease and grace, that I find the center of my being.
They say one should not wait until they are thirsty to drink. Well, I have learned to not wait to feast upon the sacred offering of inner peace created by solitude and silence.
There is no rational reason to starve the soul or the inner voice of truth.
Editor: Dana Gornall