By Debbie Lynn


The first one who takes our breath away isn’t always the one who will resuscitate us.

When the thighs stop tingling and the heart doesn’t skip a beat anymore all is not lost, don’t give up. We have to be open to who and what stands in front of us without any unreal expectations or drama and remember why we chose them.

It is an odd presumption to think that the relationship we have with our partners, family or friends will always be the same—wanting consistency that belongs to a past come and gone is root cause of the meltdown. Everyone, and everything changes.

The only way to sustain a relationship is to accept this truth.

“This” meaning—nothing will be the same as it was when you first met—and trying to keep it in its original form is the portal to breaking bad.

You may grow together, or grow apart; that is life and it is simple, but there are a few things to consider keeping the fire alive inside.

1) The kiss –

Going in… Be a friend before a lover and don’t forget to kiss that “friend” long and deeply. Eventually the honeymoon will be over and having a best friend who is your lover is far better than a lover who doesn’t have the capacity to be your friend. That is the beauty of growing old together hand in hand and yet it doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice passion.

Touch is everything—our bodies long for it no matter what the age of the relationship is and a gentle “come and get me” look coupled with the knowledge of how you know each other can set the friendship aflame.

2) Leave the psychic ability to the Psychic –

They cannot read our minds. Get this embedded into your heart. The trap of they “should know better” is the gateway to disappointment and is selfish and unyielding. The male mind doesn’t work like the female version does—end of story. Communicate.

Asking with earnest usually equates to compliance instead of anger and resentment. The respect grows, and heightens love.

3) Don’t take on a hot mess-

If there are red flags at the on-set heed them, because nothing will change. Your heart will tell you. Listen or pay the price. It is a hard road to walk if we allow someone into our world just to fill the void and if you think you will be the catalyst for them (for better behavior) you are sadly mistaken.

Don’t let your ego/pride fool you. That is when we end up more alone than before, broken and empty.

4) We are who we are. Period-

We don’t have to be loud about it but we don’t need to hide what we love to do, to feel, or how we like to be. If you are ashamed or fearful of their reaction—perhaps they are not “the one.”

Being anyone less than you are for the sake or the fear of losing out on love is disrespecting your own Soul. A true partner accepts us (every inch) just as we accept them. If they cannot understand you at the early stage of the relationship bow out—it will not be any different down the road.

5) For the love of love, drop your sword-

Battles are futile and what purpose does it serve to fight? The answer is: None. There is no winner, only pain. Stand your ground with love, not ego. Respectful discussions are brilliant and you don’t have to agree on everything, ever.

Remember that friend? Now listen to them (our partners) as would your best friend—listen openly. More often than not, you will see something you didn’t see before.

6) Give each other time and space; it is the gift of being true-

Being tied-to-the-hip is a sure sign of co-dependency, control issues and non-trust. Everyone needs room to breathe. It honors the heart/mind body and soul. Space allows freedom and freedom makes coming together hotter, vivid and alive.

7) Stand tall –

If the relationship ends, it was not meant to be. Thank them. You two came together for many reasons. Hopefully you can walk on with peace and dignity. Sometimes, it is easy to remember them when, yet we don’t remember why.

We long for the new but stay in the old. We want to ” feel” like we did at one time instead of feeling what it is to be complete and in the moment.

It isn’t a dream, awaken now—the moment is here in front of our eyes.

So exit conclusions; enter beginnings no matter how old or long it has been. Life is change—let it change. Change is good, let come to you. Good is when you let it happen and the happening is right now. Reach in release it and set it free.

Lastly, the heart may feel disappointed and broken for the moment, but all a “broken heart” means is you are truly open and in time you will heal. The pain is temporary, and can be a beautiful reminder of just how alive you are.

I reiterate, love them, thank them and carry on.


Debbie LynnDebbie Lynn realized at a very young age that the outer reality was a far cry from her inner truth and meeting her inner wisdom head on always turned into a challenge. The wonderment, curiosity and hypocrisy of life led to exploration and a cumulative documentation (art and journaling) of what she lovingly calls “the purge”. It is her way of ridding any negative energy from the daily grind. She says, “In essence, it is a way to start fresh and cleanse the soul.” Debbie has had numerous articles published with elephant journal, The Edge Magazine and Simple Steps Real Life Magazine. Her daily posts can be found on Facebook.


Editor: Daniel Scharpenburg

Photo: fortheloveofmegan/tumblr