Heaven and Hell. {Poetry}

By Ulli Stanway

We are born into this world

Of original sins

Shame, guilt and blame

Placed on us since our first breath

There is this guy who is hanging out on white cloud

Watching our genitals all night and day

Truly I ask you who is the pervert?

Who is the sinner?

In this twisted mind game

At six years of age a regular trip to the church

To a priest

Who wholeheartedly forgave me?

In the name of the father

That meant ten Ave Maria

And your are guilt free again

Little girl

At the tender age of twelve

I was taught by my teacher

Of religious science—a paradox in itself—

That if I stopped believing in god

My brain would fade away

Turns out I always have been a bit of a risk taker

I spent a lot of my lifetime trying to impress

God

Do the right thing by the guy who apparently told humans

To write his words in book form

Which I can only call Chinese whispers of a thousand years

The red brother hood

In Vatican

If they could

They still would

Burn our souls

The inquisition and exorcism are as alive as ever

I recently discovered that women are allowed to leave their hats on

In god’s temple

That’s all

You can leave your hat on girl

Other than that you are the personified evil

You, who offered that apple to the guy,

Who was then seduced?

And they call us the weak sex

Just another twisted version

Of patriarchy and power

Rules, so many rules

Of how to

And mostly how not to

What to think

How to always feel guilt

How marriage is only between a man and a woman

How this apparently makes us better humans

How we have to fear eternal condemnation

If we don’t do as we are told

How condoms, sex and one night stands are sins

Never mind masturbation, you can’t even talk about that one

Sex before marriage, an unspeakable crime

How we should just wait for the right one

Tell me, who decides who that is?

Your father or your mother?

A society?

What do you feel inside your beautiful soul?

Aids a punishment from god

Yet again

This god who hates us so much

This god who has been created my limited human minds

I am not saying I don’t believe in god

I do

I so do

But not in a cold hearted version of a god,

Who imposes guilt from the moment of birth

Not in the one where one human dominates the other

To spread his word

Not in the one whom you have to pay for

To secure your own little spot in heaven

And not in the one you ultimately sacrifice your soul for

I believe in kindness

Love, compassion, empathy and tolerance

Being sad, crazy, angry or hurt

Being lustful, sexy or withdrawn

I believe in whatever you choose to be

On your journey of

Being human

This soul we have is here to fly,

The sky is no limit

There is no above and below

In my world

You don’t need to impress god

You are loved exactly how you are

Your own divinity

A beautiful reflection of all that is possible

Lift the curtains on the stage of your beautiful life

Let go of those chains, you don’t need them anymore

Spread your wings in freedom my darling

Some might say that I clearly go to hell

And that’s fine by me

I’d rather be me with all there is to be

Than living in guilt any longer

So, I clearly go to hell

Will you join me there?

Ulli Stanway is a 42-year-old rebellious soul. She believes in becoming your authentic self by lifting those heavy curtains on your own stage of life. Ulli recently took off her glass slippers to run down a jetty barefoot. She said no to a corporate seafood buffet to be true to herself. Her mantra is RIP Pinocchio, your strings have served you well but now it is time to be cut loose and skip down your own path. No more strings attached. Check out her website, find her on Facebook, connect with her personally or join her writer’s group.