By Debbie Lynn
Sometimes the immensity of what stands before me takes my breath away as I often question my ability.
It isn’t that I am doing anything fantastic or extraordinary, I am simply taking an unknown path and that looms large overhead. This path can be ominous especially when unprepared and yet that is part of the draw, the challenge, and the allure.
The fascination of the somewhat outlined idea of how life “should be” and the make-shift assumption that tomorrow I will indeed wake up, put my feet on the ground, and start the day has smacks of arrogant expectation—things (life) has a way of shifting so I like to hold that shift in a simple vigil and say a little thank you around it. This keeps me humble, in gratitude and rooted.
However, the pull of the “other side” is always intriguing; it may be dangerous but it is very much alive not just in me, but in all of us.
In complete honesty I am pouring it all out, as I don’t really care what others think and that is a mountain of huge proportions. It is about climbing over and out of my own shit and then cleaning my feet so I don’t track the dirt around. It is about gentle and soft thinking, transforming those thoughts to purpose and strengthening the matrix of raw emotion—not emoting, but emotion.
I feel that others don’t need to witness my stuff, there is enough out there already and we have become a society of drama queens all vying for the spotlight. This perpetuates more drama and all the worlds a stage but for what? Paying attention to the core is bigger than the theatrics we impose on our life and there is no peak high enough for that.
The rest of the crap is the illusion, the delusion, the diversion; and it isn’t real.
There is always something more, infinitely more. So as I/we climb up one side of the mountain and come down the other side we have to know there will be another and another and even when we get better because of familiarity, we must be mindful because in familiarity there is comfort and comfort can be scary.
To chase the highs and lows is the metaphor of the “life climb.”
Struggling, stretching and reaching for something better is my bane and yet when I fall, I very often forget that is part of the grand design. It has to be known that down is just as important as up. That low only has one way to go and every step we take to betterment has its own time and place.
And I repeat in my head, remember, remember, please remember.
My fairy tale is full of itself but the good news is, I discovered the right to rewrite, edit and burn if I want and time marches on but I have to ask truthfully, what will I actually do if I make it to the top? Perhaps that is where the sabotage comes in because once there, it feels like it might be empty. That is another hurdle attached and after all, the destination is nothing compared to the journey.
Veering off and around the messy, nasty and clouded perceptions is the challenge. To conquer the mundane and make it magnificent, purposeful and kind is the end-goal. It is a life long pursuit of simple gratitude, inner peace and a handful of love; that is the mountain.
Let me know if you want to climb with me.
Editor: Ty H Phillips
- A Day in the Life of a Moment (Because Nothing Lasts Forever) - February 22, 2019
- Zen Persona Shattered: Picking Up the Pieces When You Lose Your Sh*t - January 30, 2019
- Appreciating Peace in a Violent World - September 27, 2018