By Lana Lensman
Struggle arises when we resist the way of things.
If we could become the observer in our life instead of the reactor we would see that it is easier to watch situations flow through our life, than it is to resist them. As an observer, you realize there is nothing you can do to change an event that has already happened. The only thing you can change is how to respond to it.
The observer knows that every situation that occurs in one’s life, is an opportunity for growth. When we are able to look at how we are responding, instead of focusing on what is happening to us, we learn more about ourselves and our lives.
There is a wealth of information in the investigation of self.
Most do not know our inner-nature—we do not understand ourselves and why we behave the way we do. When you know who you are, you know your responses and you accept them, you know your limitations and you work with them. The result of this knowing is inner-wisdom.
Emotions are powerful messengers. They signal us to pay attention, not only to what is happening around us, but most importantly to what is happening within us. They are a healing mechanism, and if responded to correctly, can lead us to the areas within our body that are out of balance and in pain. Too many times we resist or ignore our feelings instead of allowing them to speak to us, yet when we acknowledge them, we allow energy to move within us.
We open the communication channels in our body to facilitate healing and release the trauma our body is holding.
When a situation occurs in my life that causes an uncomfortable emotional reaction inside of me, I am happy. Why? Because at a higher level I understand it is an opportunity to learn more about myself, to understand my life better, to grow and to heal.
I have learned to respond to my emotions by pausing. I take a deep breath, and ask myself the following questions:
What am I feeling?
Why do I feel this way?
Where in my body are these emotions held?
What can I learn about myself in this situation?
What do I need to release and heal?
By asking questions about what I am feeling, and reviewing my response to a situation, I investigate my life. I see more clearly the behavioral patterns I continue to create, the false beliefs I carry, the pain I hold in my body and what I am most afraid of.
Usually, when we focus our attention on what someone else is doing to us, and blame them for our pain, it is because we are afraid. We believe it is easier to control our environment—to focus on changing the behavior of others—instead of working to change ourselves.
In the past, I frequently attracted into my life people who did not respect my boundaries.
I often would feel angry about their behavior. I felt disrespected and taken advantage of. But upon deeper exploration, I realized I was the one who was not respecting my own boundaries. I was not listening to my inner-voice, acknowledging what it was telling me and establishing healthy boundaries for myself. What I was experiencing on the outside, was only a reflection of what I was creating within.
Now, when issues related to boundaries come into my life, I understand that more refinement is needed. I am happy for the opportunity to learn how to acknowledge and respect myself more. I say thank-you to the messenger. I greet future messengers with non-resistance, curiosity and a sense of adventure.
When we accept what is and appreciate it, we flow with the natural way of things. Connecting to this natural flow of life is always possible—it is a choice. When you choose the path of non-resistance, you work with whatever happens in your life with ease. By accepting the way of things, you respond to life with a still, calm and reflecting nature. Your mind stays open, you reflect upon what you see, and your intuition provides you with the highest action.
Wisdom comes from experience. Transformation comes from the everyday practice of new behaviors, until eventually it becomes your natural way of being.
Lana Lensman is a writer, teacher and consultant in the holistic health field. For over 20 years, she has guided healing practitioners, movement specialists and bodyworkers to transform their practice and their life. Join her at her website here.
Editor: Dana Gornall