By Nina Rubin


Dear Nina,

My husband passed away 8 months ago from a car crash. I can’t seem to get through this. All I can think about is how I didn’t do enough or that I could have been better to him and I miss him so much. We have a daughter and I try to focus on her but I feel like everything I do with her is fake. How do I go on?




Dear Grieving,

I’m so sorry to read your sentiments and learn about your grief.

A sudden loss of a life, like a car crash, is overwhelming and instant. It’s nothing you could have prepared for (or would have wanted to). It’s tough to remember that “right now, it’s like this.” Your sadness, guilt and wistfulness are so present and deep. I imagine that there have been milestones to your grief and some days are harder than others, or other days you’re numb and walking through the motions. Both are normal. I hope you have support from friends or other family members.

For now, you have your breath and it’s steady.

Also, I hope you and your daughter will both look into, a resource for grief and loss support groups across the country. is an email support group that might also be a help.

Sending light,



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Editor: Dana Gornall