By Debbie Lynn

I don’t believe in soul mates or twin flames; not in the traditional sense anymore, that is.

How we confine ourselves to just one person and place in time is a crime. We try to hold onto a relationship that has come and gone with age, and the thrill is gone.  We enter into a romance, perhaps marry, and what happens? Wedded bliss, or is it hell?

It usually starts as the fairy tale, wanting our partners to “be” something they are not, and this is the immediate demise—the downfall to every relationship—in expectation.

Not to say we can’t have long-lasting commitments, but they come at a price: freedom and sacrifice.

While there is nothing wrong with paying the piper, we truly must understand the give and take involved; most of us don’t, can’t or won’t so we suffer. We get locked into habit and a limited vision. The vision is a stiff memory of the way it was or the way we thought it would be and there is no room for growth, no space for acceptance; that “no” quickly puts out the flame.

What holds us back is the twisted notion of terminal commitment that leaves little or no room for consideration and compromise. As time marches on, each phase we travel through holds the possibility of new and more experienced relationships by default, but tradition dictates unification, the end.

It is not the end.

I am not de-bunking monogamy. I am saying, if it isn’t working get out, move on, someone else is out there. Flavorful, amazing connections are made when we surrender to open-minded acceptance. This is when someone else can fill the well with the touch of human intuition, one-on-one, and this is how love is created equally.

Keeping our heart clear with loving discernment—no matter who or what “broke” us before—is imperative and remember, we can’t have a true relationship if we are not ready. Period. It just won’t happen.

This doesn’t mean we have to settle.

It means to recreate the passion, the fire and the light of the divine into our view and to honor it. If it lasts, bravo! If it doesn’t, go ahead and shed those tears, that skin you wore when you were with them—it is too tight now—and then be done.

Together is a beautiful thing.

Alone is a beautiful thing.

When we are able to find satisfaction in either one it means we are clear about sharing our soul, melding to unification, but we also understand we stand as one. And that twin flame? It is our essence bowing to our inner soul mate, to the core, and to the heart of the matter.

They are there, look deeper.



Debbie LynnDebbie Lynn realized at a very young age that the outer reality was a far cry from her inner truth and meeting her inner wisdom head on always turned into a challenge. The wonderment, curiosity and hypocrisy of life led to exploration and a cumulative documentation (art and journaling) of what she lovingly calls “the purge”. It is her way of ridding any negative energy from the daily grind. She says, “In essence, it is a way to start fresh and cleanse the soul.” Debbie has had numerous articles published with elephant journal, The Edge Magazine and Simple Steps Real Life Magazine. Her daily posts can be found on Facebook.

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Editor: Alicia Wozniak