The Illusion of Control.

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The Illusion of Control.

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By Kelly Battese

 

The idea that we can control our lives can be quite a powerful one that we manifest in our daily life.

We tend to try to control as many things in our life that we can. Everything from the temperature in our homes to our partner in our relationships, to our finances; yet when we fail at controlling these things, anger and frustration ensues.

In my career there is no control other than I know I am going to work and that there will be patients; that is it. I have learned to flow with this, not fight it. I have learned to strive in the unpredictable environment of medicine. I have learned to embrace this and excel in it; not to mention having a small child still helps remind me that I can not control everything.

The illusion of control is simply that—an illusion.

One of the common, core beliefs in the eastern thought process is impermanence. Nothing lasts forever, everything changes. We have examples all around us. Our ancestors understood these, they learned to take heed and flow with them instead of against.

As man has evolved, we try more and more to control and change these things or get further and further away from the lessons they have to teach; helping feed the illusion of control we have. The only “control” we have is adaptability. We must be able to bend and flow with the situation and let go of this illusion. Allowing this illusion to become your reality is only setting ourselves up for frustrations.

Learning how to bend

Think of the trees, how they bend and flow with the breeze. They do not stay stiff and still and fight the breeze, they move with it. If we can take that example and apply it to our life, we can let go and eliminate so much frustration and anger.

While bending and flowing with the breeze, you stretch and adapt to the changes coming, you become more aware of how your body can move and flex to be accommodating so much more than previously thought. All the while you are learning new things along the way, lessons you might not have learned other wise.

In these lessons you gain a strength and wisdom not found any other way. In Western thought processes we generally have become a “me first” society.

We compete for everything and at everything we must win, but why? What’s the prize other than being first? And if you come in second place, you are not in control of this situation and then the self loathing sets in. Seeing the vicious cycle yet?

Dropping the need for control, refocusing that drive on something else in your life, will help the illusion disappear and be replaced with a calmer, more stable you.

I struggled with this and still do, at times, applying this lesson to my life and reminding myself of how far I can bend and how well I can flow.

 

Kelly BatteseKelly Battese is a Kansas City native, practicing Vajrayana Buddhist, Reiki Master and has been in the medical field for over 12 years. She loves being a teacher and passing along the knowledge she has. “Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy.” ~ Sai Baba

 

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Editor: Ty Phillips

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Kelly Battese

Kelly Battese is a Kansas City native, practicing Vajrayana Buddhist, Reiki Master and has been in the medical field for over 12 years. She loves being a teacher and passing along the knowledge she has. “Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy.” ~ Sai Baba

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By | 2016-10-14T07:52:29+00:00 March 6th, 2015|blog, Buddhism, Featured, Wellness|0 Comments

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