By Debbie Lynn
“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.”
― J.M. Barrie
It is said that trust is earned.
But I believe trust is instinctual—jasmine—and is twisted into an emotional life that we react to.
We create (in our minds eye) what trust looks like in the people, places and the things we know and love, and that “trust” is a truth that needs a home base in our heart; it just does. A place to have all things “trustable” measured.
But we are human and we all hold expectations that all others must live up to, and if our base-line truths are not met—we end up having it all shattered, and that truth as we have known it becomes an illusion. This is root of our own disappointment as the once “trust-worthy” situation hovers over our head, dark, intimidating and distorted. We now question our decisions, change the measurement, and the line we defined becomes smaller.
Perhaps we can bend the rules and make little adjustments, yet in the back of heart and mind doubt is established so we wonder, “Where did the trust go?”
The answer? It goes down the preverbal rabbit hole and we suffer.
While I am not a huge fan of suffering, it is a good place to be sometimes. It gives us the opportunity to question how we got there in the first place. We can assess, dig in and see what kind of internal evaluation is necessary to rise up out the hole we carefully crafted then fell into (it is a self-check on the ego, if you will).
The truth is that a lot of times we simply place trust in others “knowing” what is in our heart and mind, yet we forget that unless we have stated our thoughts and feelings clearly, it is pretty much an impossibility for someone to be inside our head.
Here we can see if our expectations are reasonable or even known? Or were they hidden under the guise of “I shouldn’t have to explain myself, they should know.” And when we place our trust in the hands of so many situations, and time after time our expectations are depleted, we may see the pattern emerging by our own misguided notions.
But we all get a point where we are tired.
We are tired of being let down so something has to give. This where we have a choice we either keep the faith (the trust) alive or we become a soul who will never trust again.
I opt for the keeping the trust in tact and changing my perception on who, how and what I trust (based on an inner intuition that is so terribly underused). I expect to take a few hits every now and then but climbing back out of the hole to the surface of reality seems a little safer when I use discernment based in love.
I see people who have been horribly hurt by giving their trust away and I have been there myself, yet holding onto an accusatory violation has never sat well. It made me sad; it was too painful, so I started looking into my own expectations and why I allowed anyone to run me over and take my heart.
It wasn’t pretty and it wasn’t easy. It was hard (damn hard) to digest but the truth was I didn’t listen to my knowing. I wanted the fairy tale and I expected it in return.
NOTE TO SELF: trust is not about giving or receiving or expectations; it is an extension of our loyalty and our relationship with acceptance and how we flow. It is holding space for the unexpected and not putting a burden of absolute thought, word, or deed onto anyone.
In the words of the beloved Maya Angelou:
“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”
It never ends until we say enough. We will tested in every facet of our being in all kinds of situations, but because life happens we can’t let expectations ruin what we are innately born to do.
Love and trust, trust our love, then roll around in some pixie dust.
Editor: Dana Gornall