By Kim Buskala
I love synchronicity and the saying: it is meant to be.
Most people I have met on my path have been amazing, and totally get where I am coming from. The others I’ve come to accept and forgive; knowing whoever is put before me is all part of the master plan. It has taken me lifetimes to figure this out. Much anguish, humiliation and doubt, but I can finally say I get it or at least accept it with some grace and ease. Believe me, the worry and frustration still haunt my every dream. My daydreams can become nightmares in a matter of seconds. That too, I’ve come to accept, it’s just the nature of the world we live in.
The beast in all of us sometimes gets the best of us, and isn’t that what we are striving for? To be our best. Nothing more nothing less.
It seems everyday I am faced with something that causes me irritation, that triggers my body into believing this is how I need to handle the situation. Over and over I have handled my frustrations in non-productive manners; through self-defeating pity, landing me in a puddle of tears. This could be why I am broke—penniless—filled with a sense of worthlessness.
I am able to praise myself for finally recognizing the pattern which probably started eons ago. Allowing myself time to be me and fully embracing my God-given talents has allowed me the attention I need in order to grow and to bloom into my authentic self.
We are a society starved of attention. We all need to be fully seen and accepted for the true beautiful individuals we are. Why is it so hard to understand and find healthy ways to fill those needs? Why can’t we all accept ourselves and others as if we are kin? Color is only skin deep, our beauty lies within, a tapestry waiting to be revealed through acceptance, love and patience.
We all need to become our own best friend.
Through all the inner-work I have done on myself, I can now recognize my triggers and the patterns they have formed. It is a never ending battle to try to right these wrongs. I have even told myself nothing is wrong everything is all right as it should be. But my body knows different, it demands that I make changes. These aches and pains are constant reminders of the abuse I have put myself through.
We all have the ability to make change—change, that will not only benefit us individually, but will also benefit the whole.
Today I allow myself to put one foot in front of the other, even if it feels as though I am crawling. Slow and steady, alert and awake. Looking, listening, engaging all of my senses. Searching for the answers with each step, knowing I’m okay. Working to be my best. My best version of me.
Some days my best may be my worst. As long as I am able to recognize that fact and know it is human nature to be our own worst critics, I will continue to move forward. Maybe I’ll just stay in bed and dream a little dream. Good nor evil, every story has a message, left for us to decipher. Dream big, imagine the impossible, every step of the way. The people we meet are meant to be there with a lesson in hand.
Nature is our solace, our wisdom and our forgiving grace.
Kim Buskala resides in a lovely home in Northern Minnesota along with her husband, two daughters, a cat and a pug. She has a passion for nature and everything art. Her love for music and the desire to move her body to the rhythms brought her to JourneyDance, where she is a certified facilitator. Through the movement, she opened her eyes to the beauty within and revealed her ability to write and draw. Poetry flooded to her one early morn and hasn’t stopped. She is a contributor to Journey of the Heart poetry and a featured writer in Where Journeys Meet. Someday she wishes to create a book featuring her drawings and her poetry.
Kim is on a road to self-discovery, willing to face the challenges life has to offer, with ease and grace, as best she can. The love to connect with others near and far is always a driving force. To travel the seven seas from coast to coast is a dream within reach. Life is worth living even if it is just in the mind’s eye. The imagination holds magic, which is the key, to opening many doors.
Editor: Alicia Wozniak