Category: The Renegade Buddhist

Sure, Sometimes I Contemplate Suicide {Trigger Warning}

  By John Lee Pendall “I wish there was a treaty we could sign I do not care who takes this bloody hill I’m angry and I’m tired all the time I wish there was a treaty Between your love and mine” -Leonard Cohen This is gonna be a rough article to read. But, maybe you know where I’m coming from and won’t feel so alone… I, I just don’t know anymore. Maybe this six-month winter is getting to me. I live in Illinois, so we’re used to the climate being relatively uninhabitable thanks to one extreme or another,...

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Post Buddhism: Where Do I Go From Here?

  By John Lee Pendall Out of every view I’ve ever heard—from Adam and Eve to the earth is flat—the hardest one for me to swallow was, “Everything’s okay.” My gut response is to shoot back, “Everything is definitely not okay.” But then, I reply to myself, “It’s okay to feel that way.” That shuts me up, which is an astonishingly difficult thing to do. At this point in my life, I’m kind of an After Buddhist—a member of that cohort who rode the Vehicles all over the map and then crashed them into a porta potty. Crawling from...

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There is Always Something: On Mindfulness & Suffering

  By John Lee Pendall Suffering—you’ve gotta feel your suffering. Not with the intention to do something with it, to see past it, or move through it. You just have to feel it to feel it. Everything else—all the whys—are rationalizations. Really, you just have to feel it because, well, it’s there. And since it’s there it deserves your attention, it’s begging for your attention. And there will be times… there’ll be a time when all you want more than anything else in the whole world is to be held, but there might not be anyone there to hold...

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Right Concentration: Becoming the Path {The Eightfold Path}

    By John Lee Pendall All beings are Buddhas. My thoughts, and the sense of mine-ness, both trail across awareness like feathers drifting a few inches above a trackless beach. All minds are Jah. Footsteps, clips of strangers’ conversations, the beeps and burps of the self-checkout lanes, and the dry, withered rustling of products finding new temporary homes in plastic bags. My eyes sting for a moment as I step in from the night, the callous fluorescent lights forcing my pupils to suddenly contract. Originally, there is no suffering. My feet follow their familiar winding path to the...

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The Tattooed Team Spotlight: John Lee Pendall, Editor, Podcast Team & Sound Editor

  Where do you live? La Salle County, Illinois. Besides writing, what do you do for a living? Janitor at a giant superstore which shall remain nameless. Do you have a blog? I do: https://johnsmind.space/ What places/publications have you written for? TTB, the local newspaper, and, ugh, Elephant Journal. Do you have kids? Describe your family? No kids yet, and most of my family is totally freaking insane. Myself included, though I like to think I’m in recovery. How did you become involved with TTB? Fellow Dharma misfit Daniel Scharpenburg asked me to submit a piece, so I did....

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