By Angela Reed
The real M & M’s are made of chocolate and I’m a chocolate lover.
I don’t always allow chocolate in my diet though, as they are not essential for physical health (one of my core values) so rather I am going to diverge from that topic and move on to another version of M & M’s—possibly a deeper, more meaningful version.
When my girls were young and we had just started attending Unity (a spiritual community that honors all paths) there was this youth director that I was in love with. He was married, so I hid my feelings because my morals are strong. Marriage is sacred. I do my best to not disturb the sacred whenever possible.
Every Sunday he had this thing called M & M time—Music and Meditation.
All the kids would sit in a circle around him and he would play on his guitar. I’m not sure how or when the meditation would happen because I was usually in church at that time. He was amazing with the children though and they all loved him and I was grateful for a positive male role model for my girls. At the time there was no “dad” in the picture.
As the years have gone by, I’ve realized love is never wrong, but it is what we do with our feelings that matters. Love doesn’t always mean you’re meant to be with that person. Choosing to love from a distance was the best option in this scenario.
It’s like I tell my kids: it’s okay to be upset, sad or angry.
It’s what you do with those feelings that will make you up your character and create either positive or negative experiences and relationships.
I’m not sure where Victor (the youth director) is now. I wish I could thank him and let him know how much he blessed us. For now I will settle for paying it forward to others on my path and hope that’s enough.
My other version of M & M’s is massage and meditation. I started practicing massage in 2008, well before I had a regular meditation practice. I had no idea what a gift this would be for myself and others.
As I began to focus on my clients during their sessions, I slowly lost negative parts of my ego, negative patterns of thought and started creating a positive, confident self. Sometime in 2010 I began intentionally meditating outside my massage times. During the sessions I began to feel things in a deeper way. I felt my clients relax and often go into meditative states as well. I also seemed to have developed or opened up to my intuitive ability, which allows me to sense and feel many things they feel, like physical pain and emotions.
I have found it be very healing in my growth and for life in general. Sometimes when the time for a session rolls around, I might be stuck in a funk about something; feeling down or depressed, but when I step into the room almost all of it evaporates. At the start of each session, I offer a prayer for the client’s healing and for mine as well. From that point on, my negativity lifts and I focus on their well being.
When I’m done I step out of that room a different person. I can say of all the things I do in life, this works almost every single time to lift my spirits and get myself out of my own way.
To add a layer of extra yumminess, I now also teach meditation to children and adults. My career has become mostly about giving, being of service and finding ways to help my community grow. My M & M’s are much more than candy that taste good for a moment. They are moments that last a lifetime hopefully, like Victor’s Sunday mornings with my girls.
My desire and hope for this article is to inspire you to find your gift; find a way to give to others that feels good.
What I have found beneficial about massage and meditation is true for many other things in life. People have amazing ways of playing music, making art, making people laugh, and just plain being with people in a way that uplifts them. I see it happen and I hold the space for even more to step into their light, into their gifts.
Share your light with the world! It will change it.
Everything will turn into love.
Angela Reed is a massage therapist, energy healing practitioner and full time mom. Angela began her healing journey many years ago (around 2002). Throughout the journey she has learned and used many tools such as inner child healing, writing, counseling, meditation and many others to help heal her past. Having come from a challenging, traumatic childhood had made it difficult to be the person she knew in her heart was possible. Searching for those tools has brought much joy and of course there have been many tears and frustrations as well. Awakening again and again to this moment is the simple mantra of her life. Writing was first a healing modality and now has become a passion. Without passion and love where would we be?
Editor: Dana Gornall