By Sarah Harvey
I unroll my turquoise yoga mat and smile like a kid with a triple-scoop ice cream cone.
I gaze lovingly at this newly created just-for-yoga, just-for-me space and feel this unparalleled sense of satisfaction.
My cells are buzzing.
Euphoric waves of comfort and creativity pulse through me, softly moving me towards a sweet second of surrender.
One look at the carefully placed artwork on the formerly plain, peeling walls brings me to my knees.
I fall to my mat and bow inward, towards myself.
At first I tremble, overwhelmed with vulnerability, paralyzed with fear.
But, I stay for a moment.
And, something enchanting starts to rise up, like a glowing rose in a viscous sea of thorns.
I feel radiant.
I feel proud.
I feel empowered.
I feel like…
I step into the shimmering joy of this long-awaited moment.
This soothing space is a long-awaited gift.
It is a sanctuary.
But, more than anything, it is a space for my heart to bloom, to bleed, to bend, but never to break.
It is a space meant to nourish, nurture, and support —no matter what.
I am forever welcome here.
Even when I’m sad and overwhelmed.
Even when I’m screaming and angry.
Even when I’m vulnerable and scared.
Even when I’m bubbly and joyful.
Even when I’m bitter and jealous.
Every part, no matter how seemingly good or bad, is honored with unbounded enthusiasm in this sacred space.
And, the more I seek refuge here, the more I am reminded that this place also exists inside my own heart.
Even in my beat-up and bruised heart, there is a never-ending well of love and acceptance just waiting for me.
I am ready to taste it.
So, I breathe in and begin to bleed into my newly found safe space, stretching and unfolding myself, but never, ever forcing or pushing.
I hear my heart’s whispers, soft at first, but steadily growing into a fierce growl.
I am here, she says.
I am strong, she says.
I am safe, she says.
I am me, she screams.
Oh, how she screams and howls in delight.
Sarah Harvey is an enthusiastic truth-seeker. She believes that life is art, communication is all we have, and that sharing all the craziness and chaos inside us is incredibly empowering. She believes in creativity, passion, and self-expression above all else. She believes that life is the craziest thing there is—and she’s learning (a.k.a. struggling) to go with the flow. You can connect with her on Facebook.
Photo: Colette Saint Yves/Flickr
Editor: Alicia Wozniak